It isn't always easy being YOU! Mom Daughter talk #KotexMom

Kermit the Frog sings, "It's not that easy being green." Here are the lyric to the actual song:

Written by Joe Raposo 

It's not that easy being green;
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold...
or something much more colorful like that.

It's not easy being green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ord'nary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
or stars in the sky.

But green's the color of Spring.
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain,
or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.

Funny thing about that song is that I thought of the potential talks that I would need to make with my babies years ago while we were watching Sesame Street. I knew that it was my responsibility to prepare my babies (3 girls) to be young women. The lyrics have always stuck with me.  I really think it applies to the mother-daughter talk which is supposed to prepare the baby (tad pole) to one day turn into a beautiful (frog) young lady!

(Verse 1) As a women, it isn't easy being who we are. Our bodies change and our outside appearance isn't always what we want it to be. Our thoughts and emotions don't always match the way we look on the outside. This has guided me to always let my daughters know that they have to like themselves if they want others to like them for who they truly are inside. This isn't easy but over time they will gain confidence in themselves especially when they see that their mother has that same confidence.

(Verse 2) It isn't easy being yourself because your body is changing, your hormones change and fluctuate depending on the cycle of your body. Some days we don't know who we are. I have taught my girls early on that they do not need to be like everyone else.  They don't have to act, dress and follow the crowd. This isn't easy to do but I have to say that if you teach your daughter this they will become a better woman.

It is ok to get passed over because you are not in the "it crowd" and yes it will hurt. It is ok to have your own sparkle, dress and act for yourself and not like everyone else. Yes sometimes people will ignore you, not pick you first to be on their team, walk by you and act as though you don't matter but remember that is their loss.  This does hurt when you are going through body changes and yes, even when you are 40 something. Be honest, open and sharing with your daughter. When the "it crowd" isn't around anymore she will have her own confidence to stand up and be who she wants to be.

(Verse 3) Deep down we are all green. Yes even the "it crowd" girls! Let your daughter know that we all go through the same struggles. We all have hormones that cycle and as girls and women we are all alike in that regard.  I have taught my girls since early on that we ultimately choose how to be when our hormones are at different stages. For example, sometimes the hormones create emotions of rage. This will make her want to lash out but teach her that she can choose how to control that rage. The same goes for the  emotions of love, anger, sadness, etc. on others as well as ourselves.

(Verse 4) The last verse is a wrap up of everything in life. I've taught my daughters that ultimately they are responsible for what they say and do. They need to be responsible, accepting, and respectable of their own green skin and from their they can be all they can be to help others.

http://teenagerpost.tumblr.com

Does this make sense? Do these thoughts give you a sense of how to be confident for yourself and your daughter? It is a continual process that starts early on and never ends.  It isn't something that you can just dump on them when they are 13. You can guide your daughter into accepting herself and her changes as are they are happening, too. You can prepare them for what is coming with confidence if you are confident in yourself.


So when should you start preparing your daughter for her up and coming changes? We used a simple book series called Learning About Sex for Girls. They also have a set for boys but we never read it. I do wish that I would have read it to know what boys think and need to be told. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful husband and father for my daughters that could step up, guide, support and answer boy questions. This book series is used from early on and you read different books as they age. It even comes with a discussion book just for parents. 


For extra support and excellent online resources I have many times gone over to the Kotex site: www.kotex.com/tween. This site is a great reference to prepare for your talk with your daughter. It has great tools such as a calendar with facts about puberty, questions your daughter may ask, ways to start the conversation and more. The other reference spot is U by Kotex website for period questions that could be helpful for tweens and teens:www.ubykotex.com/helloperiod. 


As with any resource on and off line I always check and make sure what it is before letting my girl read on her own. I think it is important to know what they are going to read and it will prepare you for questions and facilitate discussions. 


I asked my friends on my Blog Facebook Page the question on tips and resources they use to teach their daughter and this is what Katie had to say, "I can tell you what not to do...Do not hand your daughter a book and tell her to read it and then walk away!" Sounds like great advise to me!

Why am I discussing this on my blog? Check out my first Kotex Brand Ambassador post for more information. IF you are on Pinterest, check out my Teen Inspiration board. If you post about teens I would love for you to join the board.

I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by KotexTween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.